I’ve had family members and friends who have said I need to get on those online websites. Not for me I said. But then I got curious after they talked so much about it and actually went and signed up on one. It was very enlightening to say the least, very entertaining to say the most.

This one wants to know the usual basic things about you which includes whether you have a car or not? Now I guess for some this might be pertinent information, but there are more important things that I would like to know about someone before I even begin to talk with them, much less do anything more than chat.

Like, do you have a regular job that you actually go to every day? How many people reside in your home that have a regular job that they actually go to every day? Are those your real teeth and if not, are they paid for? Will you pass a thorough legal background check? Why can’t you get a date without the internet? Why are you single? Have you or any of your relatives ever been incarcerated or institutionalized? If you list your religion as “other” is it witchcraft? You know, more important things than having a car. For heaven’s sake, they could have stolen it. I want to know if the title is in their name and if is paid for.

It’s ALL in the details.

I get an even bigger kick out of what these guys have to say on their tag lines. The ones that says what they’re up to and what they want. Here are a few:

This guy’s straddling the end of a cannon and says, “Can you be worthy and beautiful?” …..I’m not worthy, I’m not worthy.....

“Looking 4 my co-pilot in life”.....Ask God, I’ve heard he’s available.....

“Looking but not finding, maybe in the worng (that’s right) place.”....if you in the worng place, you’re in the wrong place.....

“How’s your heart?’.....he’s either a doctor or a funeral director.....

“Share the love”.....his picture looks like he’s been sharing it since that phrase was popular in the 60’s.....

“Let’s make waves”.....better bring out the big boat....

“Stranger in a strange land”....you really need to see the picture of this guy, one look says it all....

“Looking for a keeper”....try fishing with a face like that....

“Looking for honisty and kindness”..... and a dictionary....

“Bored, lonely, depressed, and hurt”.....all the qualities I sure am looking for....

“Still fishin”....he should really use a better picture of himself for bait.....

“Ready, willing and able”.....this guy is sitting behind a table that has a beer can with flowers in it and a scanner.

And my favorite....

“Hi, What Ya Got Cookin? Hon”.....I have no words.....

There’s a section where you can browse through these things. There are button that say you are interested, not interested or want to meet them. Be....very....careful....some of those pictures are very scary when they pop up.

My favorite pictures of these guys are the ones they take of themselves in the mirror and the ones they’ve cut someone out of. To entertain myself I go through these reading their tag lines and making up my own words to them. I’ve looked a quite a few until I decided the background in them was more interesting.

My daughter called me during one of these single men

shop-o-ramas and asked what I was doing.

I told her I was smoking pot and cruising the internet for guys. She laughed, I never told her any different. She thinks I’m cool now and wants all her friends to meet me. (Really cuffs, I wasn’t smoking pot, don’t bring the drug dog to my house).

I’m not trying to make fun of these people at all believe me. If the website works for them, that’s wonderful. I only pick on them here in this column in the name of entertainment. They probably make up goofy things about me and my picture too.

I'm sure there are lot of funny things to say about my hare dooh and sech.

 

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HAIR UPDATE:

I have more.

Thanks everyone for reading and taking the time to tell me that you like it. Betty Watson told me today that she felt she knew me from what I’ve written about myself. What a wonderful compliment it was for me.